I Never Stopped
by bazinga
Summary: A Will/Mac fanfic - post season 1


This is rated M

Will/Mac - post season 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing related to The Newsroom

* * *

Mac sat alone in her office. She'd come in early in an attempt to get some work done, but found herself staring at the wall across from her desk instead. No one else had come in yet and Mac didn't expect to see anyone for another hour at least. The air conditioning in the building had not yet come on, so she sat sweating in the August humidity, thinking back on the last few months. Thinking about the office 30 feet away from her, where she had seen, really seen, Will again for the first time. Where she had accepted the humiliating contract he offered her. Where he told her he wished she had never told him about Brian, where he showed her that stupid ring, that perfect ring, and where the staff had reenacted _Rudy_, resulting in that hug, that hug that tore her heart in two like the heart on Will's door. That had been the moment Mac realized that she had never stopped loving Will, and that all those nights in Afghanistan, or Iraq, or Pakistan, or wherever she had been, when the soldiers wrote to their girlfriends and wives, when Jim thought about her, because he definitely had a crush on her, she had only ever thought about Will. Never had she considered writing to Brian, because he could never be half the man Will could have been, if she hadn't torn out his heart.

Mac clicked to the file on her computer where she had saved her correspondence from the time she was embedded...

_4/21/2008_

_Dear Will,_

_I don't know how to say this but I'm going to go away for awhile, maybe give us both some time, and some space. Will, I'm sorry, I don't think you'll ever actually know how sorry I am. And Will, if you care, I am still falling in love with you, every time I see you. And Will - I miss you._

_- Mac_

_7/15/2008_

_Dear Will, _

_I never got a reply from before, so I'm not sure if this email account is still active, but that won't stop me from trying to reach you. I don't really know what else I can say to you, I feel like every apology I offer falls flat, so I'll just say this, there is no man on Earth better than you, you should be reminded of that, because we both know how you can get without constant validation. But Will, I hope you are well, and as always take care of yourself._

_- Mac_

Reading back over those early emails Mac could understand why Will never read them, she sounded so desperate to be forgiven. She berated herself for thinking that anyone could forgive her for what she did. Will could have gotten over it, but forgiveness is much harder.

_12/31/2008_

_BLLly -_

_Happy New Yearsss. I feel like I should tell you these soldier fellows really know how to throw a party. You would have never would have let me get this drunk. Don't worry I won't do anything I'll regret - like sleeping with my ex-boyfriend - hahaha. Alcohol is funny Billy - it makes you feel like you're Superman. But I bet you always feel like Superman because that's what YOU are - such a good male man. I hope you had a nice co-ed to spend your New Years Eve with - only kidding, but seriously Will, maybe a good Fuck would help you out. You should think about it. I know I'll be thinking about you tonight. _

_Cheers (seriously)_

_MAc_

In all honesty Mac was glad Will never saw that email. But it did remind her of the fact that lonely nights in the desert were often filled with thoughts of Will. Of the two of them just holding each other through the night. Mac missed that, the way Will's heart could sometimes overflow, how he was such a good man. Mac hadn't sent many emails after that, what with being in the hospital after the protest and finishing her stories. She clicked through to the last email in her folder...

_2/19/2010_

_Dearest Will,_

_I'm going to be returning to the USA soon, and I'm looking for work. I don't know if you have any openings at ACN, but if you would keep your eyes open I'd appreciate it. I see you're going to be appearing on a panel at Northwestern. I managed to get a ticket, so maybe you'd like to get a drink afterward? If not I understand, there are just some things I'd like to tell you. I hope that everything has been great, although I don't understand why you don't wear nicer suits on air, you can be handsome when you want to be. Anyway, it's been almost three years now since I've seen you, and they have been the hardest three years of my life. I miss you Will, and even if you don't miss me, my heart belongs to you._

_Best,_

_Mac_

Mac still couldn't tell if Will missed her, the way he fought her at every turn, but she suspected that he did, in his own way.

The air conditioning had still not come on, and since nobody was around Mac though it would be okay to take off her blouse and sit in her camisole until the building cooled down. She hadn't realize how warm she had become.

* * *

Will woke up early that same morning, and called Lonny to ask for a ride into the office, he figuring he could do some work before Mac came in to start the day. It wasn't that Will couldn't do work with Mac around, it was just that Mac had become a very pleasant distraction from his general angry routine, she had begun to melt his heart again, as much as he hated to admit it. Her presence was also a double edged sword. Will knew Dr. Habib was right, that he needed to forgive Mac, but that was not easy. At least they seemed to be coming to an understanding, and finally they were on the same side.

As the car sat in traffic Will pulled out his laptop. He hated the concept of email, the way people expected instant replies, and the way that sometimes emails can be used to very quickly share information with hundreds of thousands of people at a giant corporation. Not that he had any personal experience with that. But he couldn't help but laugh, remembering how mortified Mac was at what she had done, and how angry he had been. What did it matter anyway, what did he care? He supposed it was the reminder that hurt the most, but as he had said before the first stop in solving any problem is admitting you have one. And he and Mac had pretty much managed that.

Turning his thoughts back to his emails Will clicked on the folder in which he saved the emails Mac had sent him from overseas. He hadn't read them, out of spite mostly, but he now found himself opening each in turn.

The first email might have been the hardest to read, Will had never realized how much Mac was still reaching for him, even as he rebuffed her every advance, and the second email was no better, her words filled his thoughts, because he knew only Mac could be getting shot at by the fucking Taliban and still thinking about his well being. The New Year's Eve email made Will laugh out loud and he made a mental note to bring it up next time Mac was giving him grief about his love life. The final email Will wished he had actually bothered to read, because if nothing else he may not have been so desperate to impress Mac, and maybe he wouldn't be in this situation now.

However Will found himself wondering what was so bad about this situation, after all it had brought Mac back into his life, and maybe that was the best way for him to forgive her, not to see her as someone trying to hurt him, which he knew she wasn't, but as someone who was on his side. Will had always believed that the people you choose to love should be the people you would fight for, on any day, for any reason, and Will knew he would be the first and last man to fight for Mac if she would let him be, and he knew he should tell her this, but he didn't know how, but maybe he could make her feel it. He still wanted her, he certainly desired her, what man wouldn't?

She fought for him after all.

* * *

Will exited the elevator and walked toward his office, noting the empty newsroom, and thinking that if only he could make some grand gesture Mac might understand that his love for her had never been stronger. He also noted how hot the building was, and unbuttoned his shirt, leaving his tie hanging around his neck. Out of the corner of his eye Will saw something move in Mac's office, so he turned and walked the 30 feet to her door. Through the glass Will could see Mac sitting in her chair, pouring over some packet of statistics, he also saw that she had, much like him, taken off her shirt. His heart pounded in his chest. She was impossibly beautiful. He thought idly that he should tell her that, she deserved to hear it more often than he suspected she did. Will knew they were alone, but he didn't know if he should make a move toward her.

Sensing something moving Mac looked up and saw Will standing outside her office, looking deep in thought, and Mac saw that the heat was obviously getting to him as well, as he had taken of his beautiful blue tie and hung it loosely around the collar of his unbuttoned shirt. She loved Will in light blue, hell she loved Will in anything. As Will continued to stare into the distance Mac stood up and began to walk toward the door. Will snapped back to attention and as Mac opened the door he began to speak, but before he could get the words out Mac had pressed her mouth to his, with a whisper of, "I'm sorry."

Will wrapped his arms around her and began to pull her backward, walking the tangled mess of their bodies back toward his office. As they pushed through the door Mac broke the kiss and began to speak, but it was Will's turn to shut her up. He held his finger to his mouth and walked toward his desk, opening the drawer he pulled out the ring and extended his arm to Mac. He didn't have to say anything, Mac saw in his eyes everything she needed to hear. And Will saw in her face a genuine expression of relief, and as she began to walk toward him he asked, "Do you want to give this another try?"

"What do you think Billy boy?" Mac said, taking the ring from his hand and setting it on the desk then gathering Will by his tie and pulling him into her. They collided, Will's tall frame enveloping Mac's smaller one. Will dropped his head down, covering Mac's neck in kisses as his hands slipped under the back of her camisole lifting it over her head in one fluid motion. Mac was practically melting into Will, barely able to stand, as Will unzipped the back of her skirt leaving her standing in her bra and panties, she backed up and sat in his desk chair, pulling him along by that gorgeous tie.

Her look said everything, Will stood in front of her, as she undid his belt buckle and dropped his jeans around his ankles. As he slipped off his shoes and jeans entirely Mac trailed her hands up Will's back underneath his t-shirt. Spinning him around she pulled the shirt off his back and gestured to Will to pull the t-shirt off as well, seeing as she wasn't nearly tall enough to pull it over his head. She grabbed the tie from the pile on the floor and put it around her neck. It smelled of Will, if that was possible, and she knew that there was no place in the world she would rather be as she began to kiss Will's chest, sliding her hands down the back of his boxer shorts.

"These pants aren't as hard as the others, are they?" she asked, smirking at him.

"No, but what's in them is." he replied, reaching his hand up her back and unclasping her bra.

As her bare skin made contact with Will's Mac let out a slight gasp, and pulled him as close to her as she could.

"Hey Will..." she breathed

"Hmm?"

"What did the rest of the message say?"

"You remember that first email you sent me from Afghanistan? Where you said you kept falling in love with me? I just wanted to tell you that night, and now, that I never fell out of love with you. Mac, I never stopped loving you."

"I thought you never read those emails!" Mac said, shocked.

"Well, as I recall, in one of them I seem to remember you suggesting I should have a good fuck, you want to shut up and help me with that?"

In answer to his question Mac pushed Will's boxer shorts of his hips and pulled his hands down to her panties.

"It would seem like that's up to you Billy."'

"Don't call me Billy." Will growled in Mac's ear, stripping her entirely.

Their mouths found each other once again and for a few minutes they stayed that way, feeling each other, tasting each other, until Mac groaned, "Will, please, now."

Will lifted Mac up and sat her on the edge of his desk. As he looked into her eyes he saw desire, yes, but also a deeper sort of affection - the kind he suspected only came along once in a lifetime. With Mac there had never been a pressure to get sex right, but nevertheless Will looked at Mac for a long time before saying softly, "Are you okay with all this?"

Mac cocked her head and bit her bottom lip, considering her words carefully, "Will I was embedded for three years and for all that time when I needed to feel good, you know what I mean, I thought about you, about how we used to do this, and now I have the real thing. There is nothing I could want more."

Will smirked at her, pleased that he had been the object of her fantasies, "How often did you need to 'feel good'?"

"As if I'd ever tell you. All I will say is that you probably got more action in my mind than in actuality."

That was all Will needed to hear, he wasn't about to start playing catch-up with Mac's fantasy of him, he was going to rewrite the book.

He entered her slowly, the whole time looking deep into her eyes for any sign that he was hurting her. He was sure the intense pleasure he saw in hers eyes was reflected in his, because no woman ever made him feel this good. Mac brought his mouth down to hers and as they began to kiss Will slowly moved in and out of Mac, his hands on her breasts. He dropped his head to her collarbone, and she began to pull on his ears, running her hands through his hair. Will began to move faster, as Mac began shifting her hips to meets his.

"Will that's just, that's so good." Mac panted.

Will's only audible response was a groan as his gaze met Mac's again. They kissed and as they pulled apart Will whispered in Mac's ear, "Tell me when."

"Fuck Will I didn't think you'd ever ask. Now."

They were both groaning as Will began to thrust erratically in and out of Mac, amidst calling out each other's names and various expletives, their sweat soaked bodies wracked with pleasure. Mac could feel her climax coming and began to bounce her hips down to meet Will's, as his thumbs roughly massaged her nipples.

"WILL FUCK OH GOD YES." Mac shouted as waves of pleasure overtook her.

"Mac, fuck, MAC." Will grunted as he felt Mac tighten around him and he exploded, panting as they rode out their orgasms.

As gently as possible Will maneuvered them into sitting in his desk chair, eventually sliding out of Mac. As they sat there is Will's office, holding each other, Will grabbed the ring and slipped it on Mac's finger.

"Are you in or are you out?" he asked, grinning at her

"That depends," she said coyly "is this sort of thing going to feature?"

"Only if we get recreate what was going through your head those three years in Afghanistan"

"Then I am in," she whispered "and you don't have to worry about me ever being out, because I have officially never been more in love with you."

Will kissed Mac's forehead, and began to reach for his clothes, suspecting that the rest of the staff would begin trickling in soon. As he pulled on his shirt he turned to Mac and said, "I'll be needing my tie back."

"I suppose you do. But I have plans for it later."

"Mac."

"What Billy?"

"Keep it. "

Mac smiled to herself and looked at Will, thinking how lucky she is that she hadn't lost him, and vowing that she never will.


End file.
